The cost of silence

It feels like for a long time, I’ve preached the necessity for leaders, managers and teams to embrace brave conversations. The kind of conversations that feel awkward and deal with tricky topics. The ones where you have to give feedback on performance or make decisions with major ramifications. The conversations you’d rather avoid.

They’re important because I’ve seen the cost of not having them, and it’s a cost that’s too high and almost always avoidable. Steering clear of tough conversations results in higher turnover of staff, relational breakdown in the workplace, the tacit support of a toxic culture, no accountability, decreased productivity and lower profitability. It’s endless.

Having these conversations is tough. There’s no way around it.

In the current economic climate, we know that there are businesses out there who need to have tough conversations because quite literally, their survival is at stake. You might be in that boat. And while we might prefer to stick our head in the sand and avoid these conversations, the sooner the conversation, the lesser the long-term pain.

It might be tough but there are tools you can use to help you through these essential conversations.

First up, remember you’re human. We avoid them because they don’t feel good, forgetting that we’re not robots and we’re not supposed to be unaffected by hard conversations. The ability to feel things deeply and show our vulnerability makes us better leaders and more compassionate humans.

Embracing our own humanity helps us acknowledge the humanity of others in the room too and that’s why you should leave your ego at the door. Be aware of your need to be right, to assert control in a conversation, get defensive or prove your point – all easily done because when it’s tough, these all serve as great methods of self-preservation. Setting these aside will result in better outcomes every time.

To borrow from Brené Brown, clear is kind. One of the kindest things you can do for someone is provide clarity. Remember that to give half-truths to feel comfortable or ambiguous answers to avoid awkwardness, will only set someone up for failure. How can someone meet their KPIs if they only have half the picture? How can someone deliver on a project if they didn’t know it was their responsibility? How can someone get behind a restructuring if you haven’t told them why it’s happening?

Consider some personal development and upskill the way you communicate. There are so many resources out there – add them to your tool kit. Some of my favourites include the work of Marshall Rosenberg, Pat Lencioni and the already mentioned, Brené Brown. Mastering the art of communication will go a long way when the need for tough conversations inevitably arise.

Almost all of us don’t enjoy them but try to run toward (not away) from tough conversations. It’s avoiding these conversations that does more harm. Tackle them thoughtfully, with clear intention and watch what happens. One conversation might change everything.

The importance of tackling hard conversations can’t be overstated. What conversations have you been putting off that you need to have? What is it costing you not to have them?

Need help or don’t know where to start? We can help you tackle tough conversations with our one-on-one leadership and communication coaching. Arm yourself with tools to have great conversations!

diana@sudburys.co.nz | nikita@sudburys.co.nz