Book worm reflections

By Nikita Tomlinson

I’ve never really been one for New Years Resolutions. In the past I’ve never been that successful at the implementation or longevity of a resolution. Usually by the 29th of January I’ve given up (or more likely, forgotten about it).

So, I started 2024 – not with resolutions – but instead with some intentional goals. One of these involved working out how to become a bit more productive with my time. Another involved an attempt at actually keeping houseplants alive, and not just adding to the "dried flower arrangements" around my house. I took up running again for the first time in years (and promptly injured myself since I’m not 22 anymore). And I set myself a target of reading 50 books in 2024.

Getting to 50 wasn’t an easy thing to do.

While I have always loved reading, my day-to-day commitments can be pretty full on and sometimes just trying to navigate holding a book open without drifting off is a little much at the end of the day.

With most things in life, there are lessons if you take a moment to reflect, and so for this last blog of 2024, I wanted to share with you what I have learned from my 50 book journey, and some of the unintended consequences as a result.

Through these 50 books I travelled. From our very own Aotearoa across the pond to Australia, up to the USA, across Europe, I spent time in Ireland, in Japan, and in worlds that do not exist here on earth. I have read about backgrounds other than my own, cultures other than my own, and I have as a result widened my view of the world.

There were months in the middle of the year where I lost my momentum - I started to fatigue and I was struggling to keep moving towards my goal. This is where I had to be strategic. I chose smaller books to get my momentum back (much in the way that sometimes I choose a small task to do before a big one, so that I can quickly feel like I am making progress). This enabled me to build up my momentum, to take a breath, to not feel daunted by what was ahead of me. And ultimately, to keep moving forward rather than giving up halfway through.

I deliberately made decisions to stretch myself through this process. I’m not talking about Tolstoy or anything like that, but with each new book that I read, I found I became more open to reading books I normally wouldn’t. It gave me courage, and I started to become more confident in reading books outside of my comfort zone.

I read books that broke me. I tend to shy away from anything too emotional or sad. Movies, books, documentaries… if it’s going to make me feel sad, I stay away. The thing with a book is, you can’t always judge it by its cover, and so you don’t always know what you are getting into until it’s too late. I sat on my lounge floor sobbing, and within seconds, laughed out loud. I have read books that broke me down and then filled me with hope again.

Most importantly of all though, I learnt to appreciate the journey. I’m someone who generally likes to get to the end result as quickly as possible. My dad is the same. Only quick toilet stops when driving on long road trips, no fluffing around. A lot of the books I usually read are those that have a ‘big ending’ - a cliffhanger, or where the whole mystery comes together at the end. The big reveal is, well, revealed. As a result of this journey to push my boundaries and my comfort zone though, I found myself reading books that actually didn’t really have an ending. Obviously, they had an end. But there was no big reveal, no cliffhanger, no sense of it all coming together. And for the first few like that, I found myself confused! What was the point? After the second or third, I realized that there was nothing wrong with the book or author, but that perhaps my approach to reading was wrong. That perhaps the joy in the reading was in the joy of reading, not in the closing sentences of the final chapter. It meant that for the last few months, I have approached each read a little differently. I have spent time on each page, finding beauty in the way the words are linked, spending time imagining the characters, the locations, the circumstances, and feeling the emotion.

What I realized only about a month ago was that I have a tendency to approach life in the same way as I did books. That I am focused on the next task, the next meeting, the end of the day, the end of the week, the next month, and thinking about the next year. And that I do not simply spend enough time in the day being IN my days.

So, if I can share with you just one thing as you head into the festive season, and as you look ahead to 2025. Be present. Be intentional. Be in each day. Be in each sentence on the page. Stop rushing to get to the next page, the next chapter, the end of the book. There is joy in the smallest moments. Be in the journey.

Merry Christmas.